Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Popular Demand, or, Barrel of Monkeys Puppeteering 101

Enough people have emailed me begging for this post, so... fine. Here goes.

for under $3.

1. Go to the Village Discount on Roscoe. Buy this tiger.

2. Explain to this tiger that you're going to make a lateral gouge across his bottom. He will need to poop out some stuffing. This is normal.

3. Show this tiger the sock that will soon be shoved up into its innards.

This tiger will need to poop some more. When he has pooped enough, shove the sock up through his body and head, then sew it into place where you cut his bottom wide open.

4. Ask this tiger if it was really THAT BAD.

5. Show the seam ripper to this tiger. Ask him if he knows that he has a vertical seam running up the back of his head.

6. Rip open said seam.

7. Scoop out this tiger's brain stuffing, and stick a plastic baggie in there. After all, if you eat brains out of a tiger's head, you want them to be clean. Staple it into place, because you're getting a little bit lazy.

8. Remember to buy some red gummy candy tomorrow before the show for full effect. Go ahead and stick some crunchy tortilla chips in there for tonight.


Marisa Wegrzyn said...

This sounds like a play I would enjoy. Also, I would like to eat tortilla chips out of a stuffed tiger. I never considered how satisfying that would be until I read this post.